Mama said that I am not fired.  She said she understands how hard it is to stay awake when the room is nice and warm and Mr. Sunbeam is shining down on me. I was really worried because I couldn't imagine what other job she might find for me.  We all need to contribute to the household chores here.
I was fired from my previous job. Scout has that job now.  Scout is in charge of helping Mama bring firewood in from the screened porch.  You want to know why I got fired?  You are not going to laugh are you?  It's kind of embarrassing.  Okay, here it is.  I peed on the wood.  Nature called and I was outside on the screened porch, well, it seems like the outside and anyway, I saw the wood and figured it was okay.  It wasn't.  Mama says wet wood doesn't burn well and she really didn't want to burn pee soaked wood, so I was fired right there and then.  I TOLD YOU IT WAS EMBARRASSING!
I'm hiding my head in shame now.
The not so greyt hound,
Jack